Awakening
by Josie-HP
Summary: A short analysis of the meaning of love that the story of Anne provides.


This one-shot was obviously inspired by Persuasion, but also by C.S Lewis's short story 'Man or Rabbit?'- A personal favourite of mine.

Awakening

Let it be known that very few people are endowed with the ability to love as purely and unconditionally as Anne Elliot did, for those who blind their heart with matters of the mind become oblivious to the ethics of love.

Anne was in one way just like Penelope: they both suffered the agony and pain of being separated from their loved one whom, coincidentally, was taken away by war. However, Anne lacked the fundamental purpose Penelope had. While the Spartan woman waited twenty years for her husband to return home, Miss Anne spent eight years waiting for no one. Frederick Wentworth was the thought of what could have been, not the hope for the future. She had refused his proposal persuaded by her social duties and obligations, and the emptiness she was left with was nothing but a constant remainder of the absurdity that conquers the world. It was only after the long-lived sadness and unhappiness Anne suffered that her mind surrendered to the heart. No longer would or could such foolish expectations rule over her.

One would think that a person with such a character was more than capable of loving. She was kind-hearted, selfless and generous. But those virtuous qualities are not enough, they never are. For love to exist one must be free, as the freedom of the will is what provides the freedom of the heart. While repressed by social expectations and fool ideals, the blinded mind conquers all. Her change was first shown when Charles Musgrove's asked for her hand in marriage.

 _17_ _th_ _of January 1808_

Though the common eye could not perceive it, Kellynch Hall looked not as splendid as it did some years ago. The lack of maintenance and investment were slowly deteriorating its appearance. Nonetheless, it never failed to be breath taking. That fine evening was no exception, and while snow covered the gardens and fire brightened the rooms its beauty was self-evident. Excitement filled its insides as a new thrilling gossip run through the halls, and Anne and Charles were its target. Anne had locked herself in her room, not wanting hear her sisters opinions on the matter. She was used to their condescending remarks but today had been stressful enough.

"I truly believe she's completely senseless, this was a great opportunity for her" Elizabeth said smirking. She knew Charles Musgrove was not suitable for someone like herself, but for someone like Anne he was quite acceptable. The little expectations she had for her sister were now even lower, with such a boring personality and ordinary beauty Charles was her perfect match, and Anne was a fool if she expected for anything better.

"That's how Anne is, what else could we expect from her? Do not forget months ago she was to marry a poor soldier. If all, her spouse selection method has improved" Mary added. Little did she know that she would be the one marrying Charles, and from the day he proposed until her last breath she would be envious of her sister and resentful about her fate, as she had been the second option, the last resource.

While locked in her room, Anne collapsed and cried for every unfortunate event she remembered. She was trapped in a life she hated, always daydreaming about how it would have been if she had been just a little bit luckier; if her mother hadn't died, if she had been as beautiful and elegant as her sister, if Frederick hadn't left, or if they were still engaged. Frederick always haunted her thoughts and the heat break was some days unbearable, and depression and loneliness worsen it all.

And all she did that day was cry, despite her sore throat, headache and swollen eyes. All those were symptoms of an unstoppable release of emotions. Fate had never been in her favour and her most desired prayers were never answered. But at least she set free the truth. For months she repressed her true feelings, she prohibited any thought or memory of Him. Anne made herself believe that her choice was right and that her rejection was justified. Unaware of what was yet to come, she feared she had completely lost her one true chance of happiness.

 _17_ _th_ _of January 1809_

The healing capacity of the physical body is outstanding, but even more surprising is the recovery of the soul. Heart struggles are harder to cure than a broken bone, and pass through disguised and unnoticed. After her turning point, Miss Elliot began a very slow journey of recovery. One year later she was nowhere near the end of it, but progress is still progress. Unconsciously, she had liberated her heart; she had left the cold Tartarus and could finally feel the sunshine. She knew what she really wanted and didn't deny the truth her heart spoke. She still pretended around others, but at least she remained true to herself.

Anne remembered vividly what happened that same day one year ago. If she closed her eyes she could see Charles smiling as he waited for her answer and seconds later frowning with disappointment. Poor Charles didn't expect that rejection and Anne knew that he didn't deserve it. Fortunately for him, his later proposal was accepted and wedding plans had started for the following spring. She also remembered her meltdown, but that memory was no longer suffocating. Not even the memory of Him was suffocating, but relieving. Years after his departure and he still was whom she desired the most, and finally she allowed herself to think about the captain, her captain. Her heart had finally awakened and dethroned the tyranny of the mind.

C'est fini

I really hope you've enjoyed this, if there are any mistakes please let me know, English is not my first language and I'm not used to writing FF either. Persuasion is one of my favourite stories, and what I love the most about it is the development in Anne's character. I know some disagree with my point of view, but I wish you all liked reading my perspective of the story.

Thank you for reading!

Josie


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